Tech Support Humour - It's Not There

There are several user-types, but I think the one I fear the most is the It's-Not-There user. Unfortunately for me, the worst case of It's-Not-Thereism I know of is my own brother (a former engineering student believe it or not). Here's a sample conversation with a typical It's-Not-There user:

tech: Ok, now click on the "Edit" menu
user: It's not there.
tech: Alright, (slowly) do you see the word "Edit" there on the screen?
user: It's not there.
tech: Errr... (becoming angry) do you see the long horizontal thing with the words on it?
user: It's not...
tech: (now breathing funny) "File"... "Edit"... "View"...
user: Oh, you mean THAT thing!
tech: Yes, that thing. Now click on the word "Edit"
user: Sorry, I was clicking on the menu down at the bottom. I didn't know you meant THAT menu*. Ok, I clicked on it.
tech: (long pause) Now click on the word "Copy".
user: It's not there.
tech: (incoherent screaming)